Healing
by Demoninmysoul
Summary: The War is over, but Harry is broken after all those years and losses. After years of being alone he gets himself in a mess. Will it help him, or just complicate things? Slash, HJ


**A/N:** Inspired by **Araciel**'s wonderful Harry. Well, uh, that's how it started anyway…

* * *

He was tattered and torn in body mind and soul. The War left its mark on him.

His body had many scars. Most of them star-like, from the Curses he was hit with. A few could pass for slash wounds from knives, swords or the like, but they were the evidence of ripping, slashing and tearing Curses. And of course there were no punctures, there were no guns.

His soul mourned and wailed for those he lost and saw dying in their clashes with the Death Eaters. Many times he tried saving someone just to see another fall in their place, or them in another Battle. They won, but the price was too high to pay. No one remained from the Order, no one from his friends or family. But this was the pain, the rage and determination he gained, that he needed to finally kill the Dark Lord. For while his emotions were wild, he was capable of gaining power and focus from them instead of weakening from them.

He didn't even know his mind was damaged. He didn't even think about it like that, but the Legilimency that was used on him repeatedly made him close himself from others, even from creating bonds. That was partly because he didn't want to lose anyone anymore, but he didn't… couldn't open himself for others to see, even if it was only from the outside.

So he traveled. Staying a few weeks in one place, exploring, sightseeing, drinking in the beauties of the world like a man that didn't drink for years. And it was true. It was his way of distancing himself from the ugliness he left behind, and the pain he hoped would fade enough for him to be able to honour his brothers' and sisters' one day. He planned on returning, visiting them, remembering, even thought about writing out their stories, but he wasn't ready. Not yet.

He came and went like a ghost from place to place. Apparating to a relatively remote location, booking into a motel, or some other cheap, but acceptable place, and when he was done, he just disappeared. He sought out both Muggle and Magical sights. That's how he went from Rome to Romania, from Bulgaria to France. He didn't plan, just went to the next place that came to mind when he felt he'd seen enough of the previous one.

He even went to the US multiple times. He'd seen Florida, Texas, Ohio and much more. He went to Canada too. But one little town stuck in the back of his mind. He visited the place for the natural beauty and the ambient magic that could be felt in the air. The lush forest, the tranquil beach and the force of nature, the sea mesmerized him. It was overcast most of the time, but that just reminded him of home while not hitting too close to the sore spots in his heart. It was comforting. He could feel the magic curling around him, hugging him and he felt like he wasn't alone anymore. The scenery and energy soothing him. Should he try facing his past, he could do it here. It was a place he felt connected to. But it wasn't the time just yet. So he explored the town, took a look at the Reservation and the woods and went his way.

It took him another two years to return. After staying in Egypt a bit he went to Japan. He took his time there, learning. He meditated, and learned some martial arts. Not much, but he could fit some techniques in his fighting style. He had to learn some, if he wanted to come back alive, even if it was mostly street fighting, and dirty one at that. But he didn't mind. Being able to cause damage, even if he didn't stoop so low as the Cruciatus Curse was an advantage, and the Death Eaters didn't expect them bodily attacking, when they still had their wands in hand. It gave them an edge. Even more so, because they didn't learn their lesson. Not even in the end.

So he learned new things, and tried to keep himself at an acceptable level both in his physical and magical sense. He didn't need to train his reflexes, after years of raids he had his senses open and ready to attack or defend in a second. He couldn't even sleep in some places, not without Silencing Charms. So he took to practice every few days. Running and exercising was one thing. He went through everything he knew scrimmage and cast offensive and defensive spells, to know he still could. He knew it was the easiest way to maintain his abilities, even if it took time. And he just wouldn't be able to forgive himself if he fell victim to anything. He was better than that. He was trained to be better, and he wouldn't taint his precious people's memory like that.

So he took his time, but he finally returned to Forks. Or more precisely into the woods near the town. It was like coming home. A second home, but home nonetheless. He wanted to stay there. And because he didn't plan on going further, he didn't want to search for a motel or flat or anything. He stayed in the forest. Unknown to him, he camped in the middle of the Quileute's territory in the woods.

He raised the anti-Muggle charm, invisibility charm, notice-me-not, and several weak traps and warnings if someone did come close to his place. He learned his lesson over the years.

What he didn't know, was that there was a route for the Pack in the middle of the place he claimed, that the tent was ON the route, and the anti-Muggle charms worked only if the place it protected wasn't precisely the place the Pack planned to investigate after weeks of 'oh I forgot'-s and 'I have to do something else'-s.

So he went about his life if peace. Hunted rabbits and various plants – the hares most of the time in his fox form, because he just wasn't fast enough as a human, and Curses gave an awful aftertaste to the meat. And he explored the woods, the beach, taking care not to be seen by anyone.

* * *

Jacob was frustrated. No matter from which way he sent the rounds, they stopped before finishing it. There was a circle in their territory, in which they didn't know what was going on for WEEKS!

After the birth of Renesmee, they fought Sam's pack, and he took over. There were injuries, but thankfully nothing too severe. The vampires stayed for five years, and left just last year and promised to be back when the kid grew up. Everything was peaceful until now. They still made sure there were no nomads, and protected the people, but nothing came their way until now!

So they went to investigate together. Who knows what possessed that place. So they formed a circle around it, and inched closer. Once they were close to the anti-Muggle charm, they almost stopped, one after another remembering something to do, but the others helped, shutting down the idea of turning back thanks to their shared mind in their wolf form. Then came the mild shocks, and little explosions. That would've worked, if they didn't have their hide, which left them only with static fur and a bit tingling after the electric shocks – it didn't even hurt them – and the explosions were only big enough to scare a human, so they were not even at their eyelevel. The warnings went off, but that was not for them to feel, so they just crept closer, now fairly close to each other when Jake, who was leading bumped into the 'air'. This successfully negated the notice-me-not charms and the invisibility, which only worked while undisturbed.

So they stood there, eyes wide and not really believing what they saw, what just happened. That's how Harry found them, running back to his tent when he felt the alarms go off. He was close enough, so he opted out the apparition. Close enough in his animagus form. He even slipped out next to one of the wolves, thinking it odd, but not really minding the size. Now he cursed himself for his negligence. He should've known! These things weren't simple animals, and they wouldn't leave before they saw him. Now he just hoped they wouldn't attack him, and make sure he had his apparation ready if they did. There was no way he could win against this many enemies. So he took a deep calming breath, picked a place if he had to run and turned back into his human form.

Just before one of the wolves could nudge his snout inside, he cleared his throat, saying "What can I help you with?" appearing calm, but feeling the adrenaline accumulate in his system, preparing for battle.

All heads snapped to him, but he didn't move. He didn't want to trigger any of their instincts to hunt him down if not necessary. He was eyed with wariness, and judging by the shifting of their eyes, they were discussing him. After a minute or two, a smaller, grey wolf turned around, and vanished behind the tent, before a tan, built young man stepped out, clad in only a pair of shorts – which Harry noticed was tied to every wolf's leg.

"Hi! I'm Seth." He said lightly, like he wasn't aware of the others' stiffness. "You don't smell like a vampire, so what are you?" He asked, and Harry could almost laugh at the growls and barks from the others at this. It successfully made him more relaxed. He concluded that the wolves targets were vampires, so it made him an unknown, and he wasn't about to make himself enemies if he didn't have to. And while the Laws stated that he couldn't talk about himself or their society to Muggles, it was clear, that they were magical beings, so he didn't have to worry about that either.

"Yup, I'm a wizard." He replied, feeling lighter. He learned how to judge others, seeing where others wanted to stab them in the back, and he mostly read body language to this. While the others were transformed, they didn't talk with their mouth, but their postures, stances were clear. They weren't the bad kind, so it was easier to be honest with them, even if he didn't plan on meeting them after this.

"Would you like to come in? We can discuss everything there." He offered, showing them, that he wasn't about to attack them. He waited, watching as they came to an understanding, and headed inside. He didn't need to see them change, he knew they'll come, at least most of them.

His tent was the one that Mr. Weasley used once, so it gave another shock to the tribesmen when they stepped inside. "Coffee, tea?" He asked, while already making his way to make some. "Please make yourself at home. I'll be there in a second." He was after all a good host if nothing else.

He saw them prowling inside from the corner of his eye, assessing everything, smelling and touching them, not knowing where the next surprise would come from. It was a bit funny, but he couldn't help but remember himself acting almost the same when he saw the interior for the first time.

Finishing the beverages, he packed the jugs, mugs and glasses on a tray with packs of cookies and chocolate – which he couldn't live without, so he always had more than enough on him – and made his way to the table, where his guests sit.

"Hi, I'm Harry." He said, prompting the others to tell their names before they could go on.

"Paul."

"Quil."

"Embry."

"You already know Seth, and I'm Jacob. And you're in the middle of our territory." The last said. It wasn't a threat, he was only telling a fact. Harry was a bit torn between amused and thankful for his forwardness, but sticked to thankful, not wanting to insult the other, and by proxy the whole pack. It seemed Jacob was their leader.

"Mmmm… do you want me to leave? To tell the truth, I really like it here." Harry said. And it was true. If he could, he would want to stay here.

"What are your intentions? What are you doing here?" Jacob's tone carried a bit of a warning, that if he didn't say the right things now, there could be blood as a consequence.

"I don't really have an intention. I like it here. What do you really want to know?" Well duh, it was easier to answer a straight to the point question, there at least he knew what they wanted him to tell.

"Are you a danger to us? To the people?" Jacob was in full Alpha mode by now, his authority reeking from him, making the Pack straighten their backs, but it seemed like Harry didn't even notice the change in them, in the air. That of course wasn't true, but he didn't feel the need to answer to this primal call like the others. No, he felt the need to fight for dominance, the have this magnificent creature to himself, and it awoke lust in him, something he didn't know even remained in his body at all. He didn't show. He looked Jacob in the eye, feeling the other's effect washing over him, his eyes hinting only for a second how he felt before he answered.

"The only thing I'm a threat to is hares around here. I won't bother you, or any human near or far." He said at last.

Jake saw. He couldn't really decipher what he saw in Harry's eyes, it was too complicated, and too short a time to even see everything. But one thing was sure. He saw fire, he saw passion in them. Passion for what, he didn't know, but it was clear, that he didn't wish to harm them. That made this situation a bit easier.

"If you want to stay, we'll have to write out a treaty. You are in our lands, this place is part of the whole we protect. We'll have to talk to the elders about this, and I'll get back to you after we reached an understanding."

"Right. But please stay a few minutes while I warp the wards to include you guys." Harry said, before standing. "You're free to accompany me, if you wish of course, and please help yourself to anything while I'm outside." The overseeing was presented to Jake, and the the food and drinks for everyone. It was not like they trusted him just yet, so it was cleaner to let the leader watch him, even if the other couldn't understand a word from his murmuring as he walked around the tent, resetting traps and everything, but now letting the pack pass through, exclude them from notice-me-not and the invisibility's targets, and their presence would give a special warning, designed for 'welcome guests' and not the 'stranger' they awoke earlier. Well, he included any and everyone inside. If they had more members, they'll have to come too at least once to put them in too.

It was true, that Jake didn't understand a word or wave, but he felt. He felt the magic pulsate around the smaller man, he felt himself being tied to the wards and he felt their weight lifting from him, not included in them anymore. And he felt the others around him too. Everyone a vague entity inside the perimeter, and he especially felt Harry next to him.

When they finished the circle, they went inside, to find the tray empty and the wolves feeling really at home already. That definitely amused Harry, while he heard Jacob slapping his forehead with admirable force. It seemed to be a usual thing to them, even if they were in some stranger's home. Harry couldn't help a slight smile, feeling good, but odd being at the presence of so many others after being alone for so long. Jake saw the quirk of the other's lips and sighed, relieved that they didn't make a huge mistake just then.

"Alright guys, we're going, we have a meeting to attend in the evening!" He bellowed to the others, who still joking and comfortable made their way to the flap, not even minding Harry, they stripped, tied their pants to their legs and morphed back to their wolf form. Already discussing the wizard who in turn was torn between shocked, amazed and the urge to transform himself to go with the Pack. That was until he saw Jacob do the same, his mind already ahead, watching his Brothers while he joined them.

When he turned, he smelled a whiff of lingering musk in the air, strangely inviting and arousing, but he didn't think about that, not when the others could hear him, and he them, Harry it seemed was already inside, so he joined the others making their way home bickering and playing.

* * *

Harry was shocked. Yup, it won out the second he saw Jacob in all his glory. He couldn't stay there. When Jacob morphed, he already made his way to his shower. He needed one, but he didn't know yet if he wanted a hot or a cold one.

It was so long ago when he last felt like this, and the first he felt it for another man. Yes, shocked was the best word to describe his state. His mind flashed as his imagination feed him pictures of the other's body alone and with himself. Maybe he wasn't ready to open himself to another, but fantasizing was more than inside his capabilities, so he opted for a hot shower. With a wave of his wand he put up a silencing charm, and locked the door before shedding his clothes and stepping under the spray of water.

There was an urge inside him to just get it over with, and in his state he already hurt. He long forgotten he was even capable of desiring someone, so he took a minute to feel. To feel alive, and feel something he last felt while in school, before the War really started. After that, he didn't have the time, energy or the mood to even think of pleasure. But now, he felt a bit nostalgic, and he felt good even while aching so he took it slow.

He started with his hair, digging his fingers in, and feeling his scalp, his neck, massaging his shoulders, loosening his muscles, rediscovering his own body. Leaning against the wall, he trailed down, feeling his pectoral muscles and raking his nails gently against his nipples before continuing down on his stomach, circling his want and slowly stoking it once. It was an intense feeling, even if he was only barely touching himself. And the next second he felt a hot strong body behind himself, a calloused hand taking his hands place and full lips whispering into his ear how delicious he looked, how good he felt to the other, he pressed closer, molding his body to the bigger one. As he felt one hand languidly stroking him, the other explored this torso, teasing him until he couldn't control his body. He was panting and moaning by this point, hips moving to get more friction, his head tilting to the side and up unseeing, demanding a kiss. The other didn't hesitate, claiming those pink lips while one of his hands still didn't sped up, and the other trapped the smaller form to himself, sucking on the delicious tongue and biting the other's lower lip, ensuring his dominance on the writhing male before him before speeding up, and granting the oh so desired climax.

Harry cried out as he came, the pleasure washing his body clean, lifting his soul for a few seconds before he came back to himself. His body heavy as lead but satisfied, he took his time getting back his senses. His brain felt like it was buzzing with a million bugs, he saw only black, and his ears felt like his was way underwater. He took deep breaths calming his heart, and finally opening his eyes.

He tilted his head back, knocking it on the tiles of the wall before opening his eyes. He was in so deep this time…

* * *

**A/N: **Jake is around 22 while Harry is 26. Just because…

Clarifying: Jake didn't imprint on anyone so far, and I intend to make it a bit more complicated for him to imprint on Harry - partly because he's a wizard and all - otherwise it'd be just too easy, and onesided on Jake's part.

Also Harry didn't have any relationships after Ginny, and they broke up before anything serious could happen because of the War.


End file.
